Get all 9 Ian Craig releases available on Bandcamp and save 65%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Untethered Demos, three demos, holding my hands out: (2008-2016), Integral Domain, accelerator / tax collector, the evidence, winter: stepping stone, autumn: different latitudes, and 1 more.
1. |
Drug Solution
02:13
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allow me a little indulgence:
It was fucked from the very first day
I was young, I behaved, I was healthy
perfect rod for your lightning of hate
Do whatever it takes to survive:
I’m not locked in a drug problem
Do whatever it takes to stay alive:
I’m seeking a drug solution
Spare me all your artifice
I was fucked when I turned eight
They said gifted, talented, artistic
Glowing target for your arrow of hate
Do whatever it takes to survive:
I’m not locked in a drug problem
Do whatever it takes to stay alive:
I’m seeking a drug solution
(Oh oh oh oh oh no no) no caring teacher
(Oh oh oh oh oh no no) no understanding clergyman
(Oh oh oh oh oh no no) no honest program
(Oh oh oh oh oh no no) nothing fair about this
Lend me your ear, I’ll talk it off:
I was fucked at age sixteen
Got a job, bought a car, home by ten
Size 42 belt wrapped around your hand
Do whatever it takes to survive:
I’m not locked in a drug problem
Do whatever it takes to stay alive:
I’m seeking a drug solution
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2. |
Bedroom Floor
01:48
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Left me laying here on my bedroom floor
Legs pinned under - rope tied around the door
Were my eyes red? Was my thigh scratched out?
Or hesitation marks? Did I leave any doubt?
Pull my hair
Grit my teeth
Whatever I need
To fight my way out from you
Swallow down
Fuck around
Whatever I need
To fight my way out from you
Couldn’t bear to visit me in the hospital
I loved imagining you without your control
Did you feel it? Was your mind blacked out?
Or were you left numb processing your account?
How could you leave me laying on my bedroom floor?
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3. |
Loose End
02:06
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pretend for a minute
That everything you say is true
And my best case for belief
Is to look right through you
Please let me go
I’ll make it right
At least close the shutters
Lock them tight
You don’t need another loose end
Lock myself in my bedroom
Make up some kind of story
Every creak on the floorboards
Teaching me to read through you
Please don’t break that
I’ll make it right
At least hit my back
It’s out of sight
You don’t need another loose end
You robbed me of my childhood
Where is my sense of wonder
You robbed me of my childhood
You robbed me of my childhood
Let me loose so this can end
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4. |
Pretend You're Different
02:10
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Why shill for mega-corporations?
At least get a cut
I don’t know how to tell you
That they don’t give a fuck
Held down in assumed position
Ain’t it cute how they play the victim?
And if you were in the same position
Don’t pretend that it’d be any different
Why write the same article again and again…?
At least get ad revenue
I don’t know how to show you
That you don’t have a clue
Hold them down in assumed position
Ain’t it cute how they play the victim?
And if you were in their position
Don’t pretend that it’d be any different
PROBABLY NOT USED:
(I can hear the faint sound of crying
Or maybe it’s just tears from laughter
You’ve got your thumb to the pulse of a nation
Detailing fallout of a natural disaster)
Why tell people what to do with their bodies?
At least get kickbacks
I don’t know how to feel for you
When they just coverup the facts
Hold me down in assumed position
Get me off while playing victim
Do you want to be in this position?
Log on, pretend you’re different
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5. |
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If I have to wait
Even one _ more _ minute
For everyone to join
I’m killing all _ stake _ holders
Let’s fuck all empathy
My macro sensibilities
Did not prepare me
For micro realities
Or is it the other way around?
Or is it the other way around?
Maybe you have problems
With your con _ nect _ ivity
Did someone sneak inside
And flip all _ your _ wires
Let’s fuck all empathy
Your macro sensualities
Will not prepare you
For micro casualties
Can there be another way around?
Can we find another way around?
If I have to wait
Even one _ more _ minute
For everyone to join
I’m sharing all _ private _ folders
We’ve lost all sympathy
Our macro grandiosities
Could never prepare us
For micro atrocities
Let’s find another place in town
Let’s ruin another place in town
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6. |
Real Home
01:55
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Every day’s another chance
Resolve your distant past
And take a look in the mirror
Well, much to my surprise
When you looked into your eyes
You didn’t like what you found there
Practice the way that you breathe
Maybe scream the name out loud
Rehearsed reaction’s a tactic to beat it right back down
Every day’s another chance
Engage ever present past
And take a look through the window
Caught a glimpse of sunrise
When you looked into the skies
You wanted clouds and their shadow
Practice the way that you breathe
Maybe scream the name out loud
Rehearsed reaction’s a tactic to beat it right back down
Every day a forgotten chance
Trusting feelings, stolen past
Looking right into my soul
Well, much to your surprise
When you looked into my eyes
You found some form of real home
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7. |
Running The Game
02:21
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There’s something you like
About being anonymous
A thirst for control,
Or feeling autonomous?
Inject yourself with this brand new strain (oh, oh)
Throw your bank account down the drain (oh, oh)
Trigger finger, feeling lingers then dissipates
Make a post, let your life decay to waste
There’s something you like
When skirting legality
A thirst for power,
Or evading the penalty?
Inject yourself with this curated strain (oh, oh)
Throw your bank account down the drain (oh, oh)
Trigger finger, feeling’s shorter then dissipates
Create a thread, let your life decay to waste
When the picture is not enough
When the video’s not enough
When the creepshot is not enough
Will no consent be not enough? (Will consent not be enough)
Inject yourself with the daily strain (oh, oh)
Throw your bank account down the drain (oh, oh)
Trigger finger, feeling nothing, that’s nothing new
Think you’re running the game, but it’s running you
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8. |
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The physiology of my trauma
Isn’t a ‘what’s wrong’ ‘what happened’ dichotomy
You’re not trained and even if you were
You’d link me a Brené Brown video
And expect me to ‘get dirty’
When my hands are already caked in mud
How do you expect me to hold empathy
Don’t you know?
I have toes that bend left
Fingers slammed in the door
7” records strewn on the floor
Why lecture me on vulnerability?
Don’t link me to some white dude’s TED talk
And expect ‘critical evaluation’
When my hands are already caked in mud
How do you expect me to hold empathy
Do you know?
How do I dig deep, shed light
Share some bandwidth
When you sleep at night
With your beloved
Hell, I’ve used, been abused
While held at arm’s length
You’re on a cruise, hit snooze
On other’s bad days
Am I just fucked, forever stuck
Caked with mud in my own home
I’m so fucked, forever stuck
Tied on your millstone
You said I’m fucked, forever stuck
Caked with mud in my own home
Forever fucked, completely stuck
Tied to a millstone
I watched that Brené Brown video
I really tried to ‘get dirty’
Yet every time I look up in that mirror
I only see eyes that want to hurt me
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9. |
Watch
02:44
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took his watch off
you didn’t have a say
At least it wouldn’t get caught
And tear out strands of your hair
wouldn’t feel it anyway
I helped you move
Every trip up the stairs scared you
Maybe due to acclimation
Or fear of the unknown
But then I took my watch off
You didn’t owe me anything
You owed me no control
You didn’t need to cash out
I couldn’t reassure you
Blue light scattered through white
Reflected concentric circles in your eyes
I didn’t know what to say
We didn’t want each other that way
Our distance just infuriated you
I wish I knew what I know now
You didn’t owe me anything
You owed me no control
You didn’t need to cash out
I couldn’t reassure you
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10. |
White Coat Attendant
02:03
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When it washes over me
There is a true warm calm
And if the tide came in
I’d let you pull me down
I’d let it pull me down
You all ask the wrong questions
About how and why
It’s simple if you could listen
Give me one more
I need just one more
A little less condescension
Are we all clear?
White coat attendant
Smiling in the mirror
Bottled tight, white knuckled
Are you in the clear?
Hand it over now
Just hand it over now
Come and wash all over me
You are my true warm calm
When I feel the tide closing in
Give me your arm
Please give me your arm
All I feel now are questions
About life and our time
Fear is simple if I could listen
I can’t breathe without you
I can’t live without you
A little less condescension
Are we all clear?
White coat attendant
Smiling in the mirror
Bottled tight, white knuckled
Are you in the clear?
Hand it over now
Just hand it over now
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11. |
So Much
02:01
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So much for promising me
A dose of your secrecy
Why not just tow the line
Why give up precious time
I might have lost my cool with you
You’re telling lies to split us in two
So much for promising me
A glimpse of your sorcery
Why not just slant your rhyme
Why change your spacious mind
I never lost my cool with you
You’re telling lies to split us in two
So much for sharing with me
A pinch of your mediocrity
Why not grant me access
Why move with thoughtfulness
So much for instilling in me
A dose of resiliency
Please let me be that free
Please scrape until it’s clean
I punched the gas station mirror, it’s true
Maybe drugs, I thought, but you see right through
I ran and fell, full speed, outside your front door
Scrapped my knee, left bandaged on your living room floor
So much for seeing the best of me
A little realness slipped through
Let’s start from the beginning
Can we try this from the beginning?
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12. |
Christian Nightmares
02:06
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There’s that line in the Bible
the father eats sour grapes
the kid’s teeth are set on edge
Blood wrung out from stoney flesh
I’m not one for belief these days
It broke me in innumerable ways
All their words are bound for decay, even still
broken clocks are right twice a day
There’s that line in the Bible
the son leaves only to return
There is weeping, no gnashing of teeth
A prodigal son will never be me
I never did believe those days
Brood parasite in innumerable ways
Every little sheep led astray, even still
broken clocks are right twice a day
There’s that line in the Bible
Where the veil is torn in two
And all His blood was spilled out for you
Yes, even you
Yes, even you
Especially you
Especially you
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13. |
Clown Song
01:37
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14. |
Voyeur
01:52
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Open with a shot through blinds in a living room
Even if he isn’t looking, it’s best to assume
Now every single time there’s something off in your view
Frozen in time, not sure what to do
I don’t want your words (please show me your hands)
I don’t need your lines
I don’t want the truth
I don’t need your time (what are you doing with your hand?)
Open with a shot through the hall on Sunday morning
Even if he isn’t looking, there is no warning
Now every single time there’s a gap in the door jam
I don’t want your words (please show me your hands)
I don’t need your lines
I don’t want the truth
I don’t need your time (won’t you show me your hands?)
There’s a lot of talk about holding actions in tension
With who someone is and how they try to be seen
And it’s true that penance will strike with precision
But for all the home-cooked meals and generosity
I want all your words
I just need to know
Give me clarity
Drop your bullshit show
I can feel the lies
From your Xanax’d mind
In that clouded view
Will I hear the voyeur’s truth
Open with a shot through blinds in a distant room
You’re still looking, it’s best (safe) to assume
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15. |
July 5th
02:47
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16. |
I Want To See The Face
02:06
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I want to see the face
that lied to me
And said I’m not deserving
Let me see the blood
stain the carpet
Come on and try me
You have a way with words
The picture clear, the path is true
They believe you; hook, line, and sinker
I’m microdosing the real you
Show them what plays in your mind’s eye
Tell them what you’ve done to me
I want to see the face
That lies to me
And says I’m just like my father
Let me watch your mouth
Bite the bullet
Let them all see it
You do great work in your mind
The picture clear, the path is true
They love your praxis; hook, line, and sinker
I’m microdosing the real you
Tell them what plays in your mind’s eye
Show them what you’ve done to me
Guess what happens when no one
buys what you’re selling
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17. |
Abandonment
01:38
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Soaking through every layer of clothing
This is nothing new, nothing new
Dripping moonlight through Venetian blinds
I want only you, only you
Clawing through all protective layers
Am I what you want, what you want?
Laying exposed in soft focus blur
Forget what’s been taught, been taught
You could have just lied to me
Like you lie when it’s closing time
Why would you lay with me
I’m a flight risk, prime
For abandonment
Washing off my layers of decay
Betrayed by words you meant, words you meant
Everything offered comes at a cost
You already know my replacement, replacement
You could have just lied to me
Like you lie when it’s closing time
Why would you lay with me
I’m a flight risk, prime
For abandonment
Imagine regret so deep you feel it in your bones
I hear the laughter still, a cold you’ll never know
I wish you just lied to me
And saved me the pain and time
Why would you lay with me
When I’m so delicate, prime
For punishment
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18. |
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Let the car almost burst to flame
Just north of 15th and Fourth
the cigarette, the fumes, the shame
Looking down from your plant-ridden porch
I just wanted to let you know
That I’m here to stay, this time
There’s nothing that could push me away
From your screened-in door that never shut the right way
Let the call go straight to voicemail
Just outside your favorite coffee shop
The rush, the daze, the betrayal
Looking out the window by the bus stop
I just wanted to let you know
That I’m here to stay, this time
There’s nothing that could scrub me away
From your guilt-filled memory of your last collegiate days
—
I just wanted to let you know
(Break)
I just called to let you know
(Break)
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Ian Craig Columbus, Ohio
Math dude by day, weirdo musician by night. Runs Little Pigeon Tapes.
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